The Shot
by drpompeoxx
Summary: The McCord family is shaken whenever the unexpected happens to Elizabeth while delivering a speech to the public. How will they cope with the disaster? Will it bring them together and or create conflicts within them as well as the family?
1. Chapter 1

_Hey guys! Welcome to my first Madam Secretary fanfic! I do not own any of the characters in this story nor any Madam Secretary content. Feedback is always welcome with open arms. Enjoy!_

Henry's ears rang as the gunshot echoed within the air. The pieces of gravel pierced his face as soon as his body was pushed to the ground by a part of Elizabeth's security detail. Elizabeth. Where was she? Was she okay? Henry tried to stand up but was immediately pushed down by another diplomatic security agent crouched over his body.

"Dr. McCord stay down please. The car is 45 seconds out and we can't risk anymore gunfire going off," Mike had said.

"Where's Elizabeth? Is…is she okay?" Henry asked with half of his face still lying on the gravel. And it wasn't until he was able to lift his head and looked up that he saw the horrifying image he had been praying not to see. "Elizabeth!" he yelled. "Mike get off of me I have to go with her!"

"Dr. McCord, I'm under strict orders to wait for the second car. Fred has her Sir and she is heading to Georgetown's hospital," he said. Henry's breathing became rapid as he thought about his wife who had been standing on the stage in front of him speaking to the public not but two minutes ago. "Dr. McCord breathe for me, in and out, in and out." Except it was impossible for Henry to breathe whenever he knew his wife had been injured.

As the car pulled up the DS agent removed himself from above Henry and took his hand to help him up. The two of them ran briskly to the car as other DS agents looked around to make sure that no threat was apparent. They both entered the car and soon sped off without looking back.

"Mike what do we know?" Henry asked after catching his breath.

"She was hit in the chest Sir, they aren't sure if her heart or either lung was damaged. Fred reported that they just arrived at the hospital and the staff is composed of the most competent doctors in the area. She's in good hands. On the other hand we have sent a vehicle to your home to secure your children since we aren't certain as to whether or not the threat could be towards your family," Mike said.

"Oh God, the kids. They…they said they were going to watch her speech today. They wanted to… to come but we told them to stay home," Henry stuttered. "Mike…Mike my kids saw their mother get shot on national television. They need to come to the hospital."

"Dr. McCord we have been ordered to take them to a bunker," Mike hesitantly said.

"Screw the order!" Henry yelled in the car. "The kids need to be to come to the hospital. If they don't they'll really worry about their mother. For God's sake they watched her get shot!"

"I'll see what I can do Sir," Mike said calmly back and then began to talk to someone through his headpiece. Henry was lost deep in thought. The kids? They have to be terrified, scared for their mother just as he was scared for his wife's life. "Dr. McCord the children are coming to the hospital, they're about 10 minutes behind us." The rest of the car ride was silent as the DS agents navigated through the hectic lunch hour traffic of D.C. And all Henry could think about was whether or not he would be a widow at the end of the day.

They arrived at the hospital, which was heavily guarded by security, ensuring his wife's safety inside. Henry walked inside the double doors and looked around.

"Dr. McCord," Fred had said as he walked near him leaving his post by the trauma room doors, "I'm sorry Sir but you can't see her. The doctors are working very hard to stabilize her so that she is able to transport up to surgery."

"How's she doing?" Henry asked shakily.

"I wish I knew more, but she lost consciousness just a minute away from the hospital. Her breathing became labored and that's all I know. No one has been out to update me, they've been in there working on her," Fred said. Henry could feel himself becoming light headed as the color drained from his face. No one has updated them? That wasn't a good sign. "Dr. McCord I'm sorry. It should be me in there, not her. I wasn't quick enough to respond to the sound of the shot, I knocked her down too late."

"Fred, no one knew that there was going to be a gunman today. Because trust me, if I would've known, she would've never went to that speech," Henry said. Fred nodded his head and went back to his post and Henry left for the waiting room. Seconds seemed like minutes and minutes seemed like hours. It wasn't until he saw the three kids walk into the room where he finally felt a sense of normalcy.

"Dad," Alison choked out running towards her father embracing him in a hug. Stevie and Jason followed, all of them with puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks.

"Hey guys," Henry said while hugging all three of his children.

"We saw it happen on TV, Dad," Stevie mumbled into his shirt. "She was shot and the screen went black."

"Is she dead?" Jason bluntly asked. At the question Alison and Stevie began to sob harder and Henry could feel the tears staining his shirt.

"The doctors are working on her now, I haven't heard anything since I got here. All I know is that she was shot in the chest. She was in a different car than me. I'm sorry guys I wish I had more information," Henry said as tears began to fall down his own cheeks. The children's muffled sobs filled the room and Henry closed his eyes hoping that he wouldn't have to raise his kids on his own.

"Dr. McCord," Fred said after stepping into the room. All of the kids turned towards him and Henry opened his eyes. "They just took her up to surgery. They believe that the bullet went through her aorta, thus she has lost a lot of blood. They are going to do everything that they can." Fred exited the room and the kids turned to their father as the tears continued to flow.

"Is she going to be okay, Dad?" Ali asked.

"All we can do is sit here and wait," Henry said. They all took a seat on the small couch in the room, no matter how crowded it was. The sense of being close together was comforting. No matter how badly the kids hated to admit it, they were all their mother's children and they all had such an amazing bond with her. And life without her seemed truly unbearable.


	2. Chapter 2

Pain. It was all Elizabeth felt as she slowly opened her eyes to see the dimmed lights of such an unfamiliar setting. She forced her eyes open for longer than a few seconds to steal glances around the room. Sitting immediately to her right was Henry, holding her hand being mindful of the IV's that ran into her skin. And to her left were her three beautiful children squished together on the small cough in the corner of the room. All four of them with tear stained cheeks but were sleeping silently and she didn't dare to disturb them. What time was it anyway? It had to have been late at night or early in the morning; no light was shining through the windows. What had really happened? One minute she was expressing her gratitude to the city of Washington D.C. on their choice to support President Dalton as an Independent, and the next she was lying on the ground with sharp pains in her chest.

The longer she thought about the events of earlier her heart rate began to increase, causing the machine to beep faster and her breathing became rapid. Had she really been shot? Henry stirred at the sound of the beeping machine to wake up to find his wife awake and clearly in a state of panic.

"Elizabeth," he pleaded looking at her straight in her eyes grasping her hand a little tighter. "Look at me baby. You're in the hospital, you had surgery and you're recovering. Breathe for me baby, please." Elizabeth couldn't calm down. Thoughts were running wild through her head as she continued to think about what had happened. She had definitely gotten shot.

"Dad what's going?" Stevie asked as she rose from the couch seeing her mother in a full fledged panic attack.

"Stevie go out and tell a nurse that she's having a panic attack and we need help," he said sternly to his eldest. She immediately ran out of the room as her two younger siblings woke up and instantaneously grew worried expressions on their face. "Elizabeth breathe in and out, okay baby? You're okay, no one is going to hurt you." Tears streamed down Elizabeth's face as she sobbed in obvious pain while grabbing at her chest where her stitches were located.

"Dr. McCord excuse me," the doctor said as he rushed in the room followed by a herd of nurses. "Madam Secretary you're okay. You're at Georgetown Hospital and you were shot while at your public address. But you're going to be okay now, I need you to shake your head if you understand what I'm saying." But Elizabeth didn't shake her head, she sat there and sobbed harder. "Push the Xanax, we need to calm her down or else she could rip her incision open." The nurse did as the doctor order as the McCord's watched their mother sit there in agony.

"She's going to be alright guys," Henry said with a lone tear rolling down his face as he walked over to his children and hugged them tightly. The Xanax took no time to take it's toll on Elizabeth as she almost immediately relaxed. Henry let out a sigh of relief as he watched his wife's heart rate return to a normal rate.

"She's going to be fine," the doctor said to Henry and the kids. "It's not uncommon for patients to have these types of reactions whenever they wake up following a traumatic event like this. Panic attacks take a lot out of people so she'll probably go back to sleep, but will probably feel up for visitors whenever she wakes up again. This is a lot to process for you guys too. Let us know if you need anything at all."

"Thank you, doctor," Henry managed to choke out as he shook his hand. He immediately looked over at his wife who was already back to sleep, although not in a peaceful manner. The obvious signs of stress and worry covered her face and it broke Henry's heart. "Stevie, can you take your brother and sister down to the cafeteria to get something to eat and drink? I'll stay here with mom in case she would wake up."

"Sure," Stevie said while wiping her tears from her eyes. "We'll bring you something back."Before all three of them left they gently kissed their mother's forehead and hugged their dad. Once they had left, Henry went back to the chair that sat directly beside his wife's bedside.

"Babe," he whispered, "thank you for not dying." And he let his tears fall from his face realizing that this recovery was going to be long and strenuous.

*MS*

"Hey there," Henry said as he saw his wife's eyes flutter open. He pushed a stray strand of hair out of her line of sight and gently traced the outline of her face. " Do you want a glass of water?" Elizabeth shook her head and Henry went to pour her a glass out of the pitcher they left earlier for the entire family. She drank the water slowly as the cool liquid soothed her dry, scratchy throat.

"Where are the kids?" she choked out with a small cough, wincing in pain.

"I had a couple agents take them home two hours ago so that they could shower and freshen up. I Ali and Jas's school and told them that they would be out for the next few days," Henry said while flashing his wife a small smile. He always took care of everything.

"What time is it?" Elizabeth asked looking over at the window seeing the light shine in between the blinds.

"10:00 in the morning," Henry told her after checking his watch. "How's the pain?"

"Bearable," she responded, but Henry knew she was lying by looking at the expression on her face. She was hurting and it broke his heart to see his wife like this. "Henry what happened?" Henry immediately sighed and closed his eyes thinking back to nearly 24 hours ago whenever he didn't know if his wife was still alive or if he was a single parent.

"Elizabeth, you need to rest," Henry tried to tell her.

"Henry, you need to tell me what happened, because if you don't I swear to God," she said before letting out a large cough, moaning in pain while clutching at her chest. A lone tear rolled down her face and Henry held onto his wife's hand tightly. After regaining what little composure she had left she looked at Henry with sad eyes and he had no choice but to tell her.

"You we're giving a speech to the public, thanking them for the support that they were giving President Dalton even though he's running as an Independent. Do you remember that?" he asked. She shook her head and he continued. "You were maybe five minutes into your speech, not even getting to the good part yet when the shot went off. I was pushed down by Mike who was sitting beside me and you," he stuttered, "you went down immediately. I wasn't sure if Fred was able to get you down or not. But sheer panic came over the entire crowd. I tried to get up, tried to get to you but Mike wouldn't let me." A tear rolled down Henry's cheek and he shut his eyes trying to get rid of the memory. Elizabeth squeezed his hand tightly.

"It was so hard to breathe," she whispered while trying not to let her emotions take over her. "I remember Fred taking me to the car. There…there was so much blood and I couldn't breathe."

"The bullet went straight through your aorta," Henry choked out. "They brought you here and operated on you for six straight hours. The kids and I were so worried. I was so worried that…that…"

"I'm here now," she said an smiled softly at him. "I'm not going anywhere anytime too soon." Henry leaned over the bed rail and kissed her softly on the lips, needing her touch to know that she was really there.

"I love you, so much," he said into her hair as he took in her scent. They sat in silence both letting their tears fall, and letting the whirlwind of emotions run between the two of them.

"Henry," Elizabeth mumbled as she looked at her husband. "What have I done to our sweet family?" And it wasn't until then that their silent tears turned into loud sobs, causing them both to shake with fear. Fear of what had happened in their past. Fear of what was going on around them. And fear of what was to come in the future.

"We're okay," Henry said while stroking his wife's hand.

"Mom? Dad?" Ali's voice came from the door with her two siblings standing around them. Elizabeth and Henry both wiped their tears from their eyes and looked at their three beautiful children.

"Come here, guys," Elizabeth said with a small smile as tears still rolled down her face. And it was only a matter of a few seconds that all five of the McCords were in the cramped little space as the emotional whirlwind took over all of them as they cried thinking about what could've been but wasn't.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been three full days since Elizabeth's surgery and Henry could feel how anxious she was to get out of the hospital. Between the constant changing of the television stations to different news sources, who were still running the horrifying clips of the shooting, and the fact that she was checking her email every five minutes Henry knew his wife was going stir crazy.

"How many more days do I have to stay in this place?" Elizabeth asked with a sense of annoyance in her tone.

"Until the doctor says that you're fine to go home, which could be awhile," Henry answered while continuing to read his book by her bed. He had rarely left the hospital the past three days, leaving to shower and get some fresh air. The kids came multiple times a day but decided it was best to stay at home so that they didn't overwhelm their mother. Security had been increased since the shooting and no matter how badly Elizabeth and Henry were fearful of what could happen to their children, they knew they were in good hands.

"Well I would like to be out of here sooner rather than later. The longer I stay the weaker I seem," Elizabeth said with a sigh. Henry shook his head and decided not to comment along with his wife fearing he would say the wrong thing. Elizabeth had been irritable the past few days and righteously so. He knew an argument between them would be negative for her recovery, thus the tip-toeing around her harsh statements.

"Ma'am, there's a couple visitors here to see you. Should I let them in?" Fred asked as he peeked his head in the doorway. Elizabeth shook her head and muted the TV. Although Henry knew that no visitors and rest would be the best thing for her recovery, maybe this would help calm her mood and put her in brighter spirits.

"Well it's about you all came around!" Elizabeth said with a small smile as her staff walked through the door. "I was starting to think that you all forgot about me."

"No Ma'am, we would never forget about you," Jay said as he set the bouquet of flowers on her bedside table. "We were hoping that these would help brighten the mood around here. From your text messages you've been sending us it sounds like they're holding you hostage."

"Well it feels like it," she said bluntly. "All the while my husband barely lets me get out of bed to go to the bathroom." She flashed Henry a subtle smile and he grinned back.

"Rest babe, you need rest," he said while standing up to kiss her hairline. "I'm going to go and grab some coffee from the cafeteria, let you all visit. Would anyone else like anything?" Once everyone declined the offer he gave Elizabeth's hand one final squeeze before leaving the room.

"He seems to be taking good care of you, Ma'am," Nadine said after Henry left.

"No matter how much I hate to admit it, he does a pretty good job monitoring me, even though I'm itching to get out of here," Elizabeth sighed. "Blake, did you get me the information I asked you for?"

"It took a lot of convincing of the nurses, but they said that you should be out of here in the next three to five days, depending on how your recovery goes and barring any complications," Blake said with a smile. "Nurse Janine said that your incision is healing nicely and you're making very good progress."

"Three to five more days? I think I'm going to die of boredom," Elizabeth said as she threw her head back onto her pillow. "Henry won't let me do anything but watch TV and check my emails. It's like he's babysitting me."

"And rightfully so Ma'am. It wasn't but three days ago that none of us knew whether or not we would have a new boss," Daisy interjected making all of their heads turn. "What? I'm just saying that someone has to address the elephant in the room. You all haven't had to deal with the media attacks." There was an awkward silence that fell over the room since no one had anything to say.

"You're right, Daisy," Elizabeth acknowledged. "Sometimes I get ahead of myself and forget what I was just put through. I know I should be more grateful for every thing that everyone is doing for me, but sitting in this bed just makes me think longer and deeper into the situation. And I truly can't thank you all for the way you have conducted yourselves these past few days. I'm incredibly lucky to have you as my staff." Warm smiles filled the room as they all exchanged glances realizing that, at least for now, a new boss was not in Elizabeth McCord's agenda. "But Daisy, looking at the media, what have people been saying? I can tell from the news that you've had a handful of things thrown your way."

"Ma'am, with all due respect, they want a statement. The only thing the President has authorized to give me is to tell them that you're alive and out of surgery, all the while trying to recover. They want more, the nation needs more," Daisy mumbled. It was true though, the nation deserved more than silence.

"Well luckily for you, Henry and I have had a little bit of extra time lately and actually came up with a draft this morning," Elizabeth said while attempting to reach her iPad that was sitting on the table beside her. Jay lent a helping hand and gave it to her noticing her wincing in pain as she reached. She gave him a small smile and went to the typed document. "How does this sound?…."

*MS*

 _"Madam Secretary and her family first want to start by extending their immense amount of gratitude towards all of you as well as the public for the overwhelming amount of love and support they have been shown throughout the past three days. The Secretary can say that she feels incredibly blessed to have come out on the positive side of this horrifying situation. She is still recovering and resting at Georgetown Hospital, where she will stay until the doctors believe that she is well enough to return home and continue the recovering process there. She will take a leave of absence upon her return home in order to get back to a healthy state so that she can then continue to lead the nation in diplomatic affairs in a proper manner," Daisy told the press. Immediately hands shot up with questions._

 _"Daisy have you seen the Secretary? Is she truly progressing in the recovery process?" Jim from The Times asked._

 _"After my visit with the Secretary this afternoon I can honestly say that she is recovering as well as to be expected. She is still in a great deal of pain from sustaining open heart surgery three days ago but is very optimistic about the situation. She and her husband as well as the three children feel very grateful for more days with her and they ask that you all respect their privacy during this very delicate time. That will be all for now," Daisy said in closing and exited the room._

"Alright babe, it's time to turn the TV off for the night," Henry said grabbing the remote and clicking off the TV.

"Henry it's not even 8:00 yet," Elizabeth protested with a large yawn.

"You could barely keep your eyes open throughout that press conference," Henry said with a laugh. "Besides your pain medication is going to kick in soon. It'll help you sleep." Henry brushed a piece of her hair from her forehead and turned around to the chest of drawers in the room to grab his wife's sweatshirt from home that she slept in quite frequently and unfolded it. When he turned around he caught a glimpse of a tear rolling down Elizabeth's cheek until she quickly brushed it away. "Babe what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she stated, "it's nothing."

"Well if I were a bad husband I would believe that little lie of yours and say 'okay' but since you know I'm a good husband, I won't accept that answer. What's really wrong?" he asked again taking a seat beside her bead gently brushing his thumb over her palm. She took in a deep breath and winced in pain as the air entered her lungs. Tears began to fall down her face and she looked at Henry with such sad eyes, eyes he hadn't seen in the longest time.

"It's just that," she started, "that every time I close my eyes I go back there. Back to where I was shot. It runs on repeat in my head over and over again and I think about how the situation could be so different. Where instead of me lying in this hospital bed right now I could be lying in a casket in the funeral home." She sat there and choked out another sob before continuing. "And every time I think about being in a casket, I go back to how I felt looking at my parents when I was fifteen and I picture our kids there and you alongside them. And it brings me so much pain." At this point Henry had tears coming out of his eyes realizing that his wife had begun to process every little detail that happened that day. He stood up to kiss her, needing her touch for reassurance that she was actually there.

"But that didn't happen. You're here, you're alive," Henry said as he broke the kiss. He put down the bed rail and climbed in next to his sobbing wife and wrapped his arms around her torso, being mindful of her incision. "I haven't stopped thinking about what could have been either, babe. But then I look at you and I realize that you're still here, and I could never be more grateful for that." They laid there in silence as Elizabeth's sobs slowed as well as her breathing. She was in obvious pain from the heaving, and Henry prayed that the pain medication would kick in soon.

"People expect me to go back to the job whenever I'm healed," she said softly. "But what if I can't do it?"

"Then we will cross that bridge when we get there. You don't need to make that decision now, what you need is sleep," Henry whispered into her hair. And it wasn't but a few moments later that he felt his wife's body relax into his and he knew she was asleep.

 **Thank you all for the sweet comments! The next chapter will be up within the next few days, but until then keep commenting and don't be afraid to let me know what YOU would like to see in the story. I'm open to all of your ideas/opinions. xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

"Sorry Ma'am," the DS Agent said as they hit another bump in the road, bumps that sent shockwaves of pain through Elizabeth's chest.

"It's alright," she replied softly as she tightened the grip on Henry's hand.

"We're almost home," he whispered in his wife's ear, assuring her that the long ride home was going to come to an end soon. She nodded as a lone tear rolled down her cheek, but she quickly brushed it away. It was another five minutes until the motorcade came to a stop in front of her Georgetown home. No surprise for the band of paparazzi and press that waited for her on the sidewalk. She did notice however that security had been vamped up since the shooting, which was nothing to complain about.

"Ma'am, we'll clear a walkway to the door for you, making sure that no paparazzi comes in your path," Fred said as he turned around in his seat. "We'll bring in your bags after you and Dr. McCord are secured inside the house." Elizabeth just nodded as she stared at the window at the sea of cameras swarming her motorcade.

"Here, put these on," Henry said as he took the sunglasses off of his head. "Or else you may get blinded by the flash." Elizabeth let out a small giggle, something that Henry hadn't heard in over a week. Somewhere behind the pain she was enduring, his wife was still there.

"Game faces," she whispered to him before he opened the door. Henry exited the car first and extended a hand to his wife, who carefully got out of the car not wanting to make the wrong motion, which could send her into obvious pain. Once fully getting out of the car, agents surrounded her and her husband, ensuring that the paparazzi were incapable of reaching them. Henry wrapped an arm around Elizabeth's shoulder which she accepted gracefully as an invitation to lean on him as they walked inside. Henry looked down at his wife who was stoic, being sure to not show the pain that she was in. Once inside however, the game face was turned off and the bags under her eyes were visible when the sunglasses came off.

"How about we get you up to bed," Henry suggested. "It will be good for you to get some rest. I'll tell the kids they can talk to you later tonight once you've rested a little bit."

"No," she responded firmly, and he already knew there was no chance he would win this argument. "I want to go to the living room and talk to the kids. Let's try to make this is as normal as possible for them. They need to see that I'm alright."

"Okay babe," Henry agreed. He helped his wife take off her jacket and they made the trek into the living room, finally starting to feel a little bit of normalcy that they were used to.

**MS**

"Babe, hey let's get you up to bed," Henry whispered into his wife's ear as she slowly woke up from her deep sleep on the couch. The pain medications were no joke and nearly knocked Elizabeth out for six hours straight. She nodded her head and gradually sat up with help from her husband.

"Thank you," she mumbled in a drowsy voice. She willingly took the arm that Henry extended to her and stood up as she shuffled to the stairs, which proved to be a challenge. It took them five minutes to get up the steps, and as painful it was for Elizabeth, Henry felt her pain. Seeing her wince with every step that she took hurt him too, realizing that once she was upstairs she would probably stay up there for an extended period of time. She was breathing heavily once they reached the top, closing her eyes as she tried to catch her breath.

"We can take a minute, you did great babe," Henry assured his wife. Luckily the kids had gone to bed a little while ago. Elizabeth would hate for them to see her this weak, she needed to be strong for her family, to prove that she was going to be alright.

"Okay, I'm ready," Elizabeth said as she collected herself. They walked to the bedroom and immediately headed for the bed, disregarding the fact that she hadn't brushed her teeth yet, something that she simply didn't have the energy for. Henry had already folded the blankets down and laid out her medication on the bedside table. He helped her sit down, easing her onto the side of the bed.

"Babe, you need to take these," he said as he put the pills in her hand. Without question, which was so unlike her, she put the pills in her mouth, took a sip of water and swallowed. Normally she would try and resist taking pain medication but it was obvious that she needed it. Her antibiotics were nonnegotiable though, unless she wanted to get an infection.

"Can you get me your old Marine sweatshirt?" she asked with a pleading look in her eyes. Henry gave her a small smile and nodded while heading over to the dresser. He turned to see her heavy eyes closing and he made his way towards her, helping her into the obviously too large of sweatshirt for her petite body. She was never large, but ever since the surgery, she had lost weight. She looked frail and fragile, almost as if she was about to snap. Once the sweatshirt was on, she carefully laid down in the comfort of her own bed for the first time in over a week. She clutched a pillow close to her chest, hoping to help relieve some of the pressure and tightness that she felt. Henry knelt down to look his wife in the eyes and pressed a soft kiss against her lips and then along her hairline.

"Night babe," he said. "I love you."

"Love you too," she answered softly, already nearing another deep sleep. Henry then got himself ready for bed, quietly hoping not to disturb his wife. He carefully crawled into bed, pressing his body next to hers and wrapping an arm around her torso. Her breathing was even and her body was relaxed, all thanks to the pain medications. Henry slowly closed his eyes and for the first time in over a week felt a strong sense of comfort. Being in his own bed, with his beautiful, breathing wife in his arms.

 _**_ MS**

Henry turned in his sleep only to be woken up by the soft glow coming from the crack in the door from the bathroom light. He reached over and felt nothing but an empty mattress beside him. He sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes and glanced at the clock. 4:15. Four hours of uninterrupted sleep, the longest he had gotten in one sitting in the past week, and he was grateful for it. There was an odd silence that filled the room. No sounds came from the bathroom, no water was running, nothing but a deafening silence. Henry decided to get up to check on his wife and he shuffled to the bathroom.

"Elizabeth, babe, are you okay?" he asked while gently knocking on the door, being sure not to invade the privacy she wanted. But to no avail, there was no response. He slowly opened the door, unveiling the horrifying scene he wasn't expecting. "Elizabeth," he gasped and immediately rushed to her side. The color from her face was drained as she laid lifeless on the cold floor of the bathroom. Henry reached down to his wife's neck checking for a pulse. But he felt nothing. "Damn it," he said as he began doing chest compressions. The instructions that the doctor gave him before leaving the hospital came flowing back into his head. The instructions that he was supposed to follow in case of an emergency. Well this was an emergency. "Babe c'mon, you can't die on me!" Henry pleaded with tears forming in his eyes as he began chest compressions.

"Dad what's going on?" Alison said groggily as she appeared in the doorway. She rubbed her face with her hands and her eyes widened. "Dad oh my gosh is she okay?!" she asked with tears already starting to flow down her cheeks.

"Ali, I need you to call 911. Then go tell the DS Agents outside that they are coming and that mom needs help," he said as he continued compressions. He stopped for a second to feel for a pulse. Nothing. He did as the doctor said and tilted his wife's head back and opened her mouth, then administering to full breaths into her lungs, but to no avail. He then continued compressions and looked at his daughter, who was frozen in the doorway. "Ali, I need you to go do as I said right now!" Ali shook her head and bolted out of the room.

"C'mon babe," Henry said as he began to feel tired from the chest compression workout. "Breathe for me babe, c'mon, please breathe for me…"

**MS**

Henry sat up in the bed with beads of sweat on his forehead and breathing heavily. A dream, it was a dream, a god awful dream. He wiped his hands on his face getting rid of the sweat that was apparent on his face. He looked over to Elizabeth's side of the bed but she wasn't there, however there was a soft glow from the bathroom light that peeked through the crack of the door. Henry grabbed his phone off the of the bedside table just in case he found Elizabeth lifeless on the floor, and took a deep breath in before going over to the door and knocked softly.

"Babe?" he asked too afraid to open the door to reveal what he may actually find.

"In here," Elizabeth replied quietly. He slowly opened the door to find his wife leaning against the bathroom vanity, in obvious pain. She was a pale color and sweat clung to the sides of her face as well as along her hairline.

"Elizabeth, what's wrong?" he asked as he knelt down next to her.

"I felt like I was going to throw up," she mumbled as she swallowed hard, making it evident that she was trying to keep whatever little bit she ate earlier down in her stomach. Henry stood up and got a cool, wet washcloth and placed it on his wife's forehead. He grabbed her hand and began rubbing his thumb along her knuckles, almost making her relax instantaneously.

"Do you want some of the anti-nausea medication that the doctor prescribed? It's down in the kitchen and I'll go get you a pill," Henry said calmly, trying to not think about the what ifs of his wife vomiting. The possibility of her incision ripping open to do the upheaval of the contents of her stomach being to violent for her stitches to stay together. The big scary what if that the anti-nausea medication was supposed to help avoid.

"No," she said while shaking her head. "You being here, it helps." She laid her head on Henry's shoulders and began to take deep breaths which put her in an evident discomfort.

"Babe, I'll go get the meds really quick. I promise," Henry replied, hoping to urge his wife into taking the medication.

"I probably won't be able to keep it down," she said in between breaths. Crap, she was probably right. The pill would probably trigger her gag reflex and then they would be back to square one.

"Okay then, I'm not going anywhere," he responded as he wrapped around his shaking wife. Tears began to fall down her face and soaked into his shirt.

"Thank you," she choked out.

"I love you, Elizabeth. Now and forever," he said as he tightened his grip and placed a kiss on top of her head. Her breathing eventually began to slow and her shivering and shaking began to lessen and she fell into a light sleep. Henry sat there staring at his wife observing how much pain she was in, and it killed him on the inside. The ringing of his phone interrupted the silence in the room, luckily not disturbing Elizabeth, and he reached for it up on the vanity.

"Conrad?" Henry answered in a hushed tone trying not to disrupt his wife from her sleep.

"Henry, we found him. We've got the man who shot Bess," he said. And it took everything inside of Henry to keep the rising bile in his throat down in his stomach, worrying that with any more movements he would wake his wife up.

 **My apologies if I scared any of you with the dream, however, I'm excited to dive into the realm of Elizabeth's shooter and what his motives were. As always, thank you for reading and do not be afraid to review! I'd love to hear what you all think and what you want to be put in the story. More updates are coming your way! xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5

"Jason, this is non-negotiable. The two security agents are going with you to school whether you believe it's necessary or not," Elizabeth said sternly from the dining room chair. She had been home for a week and had been getting around the house easier, however, she was still in pain. It was the kids first day going back to school, a day that Elizabeth and Henry both hesitated towards.

"No Mom, this is a bunch of crap!" Jason yelled at his mother. "The shooter is in custody so I don't understand why all three of us need two security guys with us all the time!"

"Jason knock it off," Stevie told her brother. Although Stevie wasn't overly fond of the fact of the two agents following her every step, she understood where her mother was coming from.

"No, I'm not going to school if they're going with me," Jason said as he began his way up the stairs.

"Jason don't you get it? Mom was shot. She was shot and she almost died!" Alison chimed in to everyone's surprise. "Get over it, you're not the only one who has to deal with it."

"Jas, we just want to know that you're safe," Henry said as he finished putting the plates in the dishwasher. "It's not permanent, just for until things begin to calm down from the initial shock. Now get your things and go to school or else you'll be late on your first day back."

"Whatever," he mumbled as he stormed out of the kitchen with his backpack in hand. The girls walked over and both kissed their mom on the cheek and headed out for the day. And it wasn't until Elizabeth heard the front door shut that she let out a deep sigh and tears began to roll down her cheek.

"Babe?" Henry asked as he walked over to his wife and sat in the chair next to her.

"We just sent them back out into the world. It's not safe," she said as she sniffled. Henry wiped away his wife's tears and brought her hand to his lips.

"They're protected, they'll be alright," he reassured her. "They can't stay in the house forever. They'll get used to the security agents, it's just going to take some time for everything to go back to the way it used to be." Elizabeth nodded and wiped away the remainder of her tears. Henry hated seeing his wife fall apart, especially whenever it was about the kids. Heck he was just as scared for their safety as she was, but he had to be strong for her. "Let's get you to the couch. Daisy's press conference is set to start in a few minutes anyway."

Without hesitation, Elizabeth reached out to grasp her husband's arm for support, just as she's been doing for the past week. They had luckily fallen into a rhythm, he knew when to lend a helping hand and when to stand back and let her do things for herself. She was getting stronger every single day, but she was still reliant on her pain medications, especially in the evening. They slowly made their way to the couch and adjusted the pillows to Elizabeth's liking.

"Comfortable?" Henry asked and she nodded her head yes. It was only 7:35 in the morning and her eyelids were already heavy from all of the commotion from the morning. That and the fact that her pain medications were making her fatigued. Henry handed her the remote and headed back into the kitchen to finish cleaning up the breakfast mess. Luckily he had been able to get her to eat a piece of toast along with a little bit of yogurt. Her thin figure definitely attributed to her weakness. She needed to eat, she had to.

"Henry it's about to start," she said from the living room. He wiped his hands on the towel and made his way to the couch and carefully sat next to his wife. He intertwined his fingers with hers, comforting them both. They had learned about the shooter being taken into custody, but the press hadn't gotten wind of anything yet.

 _"Good morning," Daisy started. "The Secretary and her family thank you for the kind wishes and regards that you all have given them throughout the past two and a half weeks. She is recovering in the comfort of her own home, something that she is very grateful for, and is hoping to come back to work sooner rather than later. Her recovery is going smoothly and continues to ask for the privacy of her and her family as they are still adjusting to the life altering event that almost took her life."_

Elizabeth's breath caught in her throat at the last sentence. The event that almost took her life. The event that almost took her away from her husband and her kids. Henry squeezed her hand and moved closer to her. She turned towards him as she bit her bottom lip as the tears began to form in her eyes, but she quickly blinked them back.

 _"A week ago, a special ops group apprehended the gunman that shot the Secretary and has been kept in custody since then. No personal information will be released until the investigation has made substantial progress towards learning the motives and reasoning behind the attack. The Secretary and her family know about the shooter being held, but are not aware of who this person is or any motives that may have been learned within the past week."_

With the closing statement, hands immediately shot up with questions.

" _Daisy, does the Secretary have any inclinations into who could be the gunman?" Herald from the Chronicle asked._

 _"The Secretary and her family are taking the information that is being given to them as it comes. They are not jumping to conclusions and making accusations against any possible persons of interest. At this point they know as much information about the case as what you and I do. Next question," Daisy said._

 _"Daisy is it true that the McCord children are heading back to school today?" Martha from the Post asked._

 _"Madam Secretary and Dr. McCord felt as if it is safe enough with the gunman being in custody for their children to go back to school. They all are accompanied by two security agents just as a precaution. The Secretary's family is just trying to reestablish some normalcy in their lives at this point. And I think we owe it to them to give them the respect and honor that they deserve. I'll be bringing more information about the case in the next press conference. Thank you everyone," Daisy closed and left the room._

Elizabeth and Henry sat in silence as the programming quickly changed back to the normal news cycle which was recapping everything Daisy had just said. Thoughts rushed into both of their heads. The reoccurring thoughts of who the shooter was and why they had been so adamant on taking her life. The rest of the morning and afternoon fell into the lull that many of the days before had. Elizabeth slept most of the day, the pain medications taking their toll on her body, but it was good for her to rest. Henry continued to wrap his mind around the thought of the shooter trying to solve the missing pieces of the puzzle.

Later that afternoon Elizabeth's phone rang and it immediately woke her up. Henry soon regretted the fact that he had allowed her staff to return her work phone to her since she was somewhat starting to feel up to the task of providing assistance to her team during her recovery. He went over to the table where her phone was laying and handed it to her so that she wouldn't have to sit up.

"Hello?" she answered in a groggy tone. Henry sat their watching his wife's facial expression as she listened to the voice on the other end of the line. She rubbed her eyes as the other voice spoke and took a deep breath in. "Alright Sir, we'll be right down." She hung up the phone and slowly sat up on the couch, "They want us to go down the agency," she said.

**MS**

Elizabeth and Henry walked hand in hand down the long corridor of the FBI's and CIA's joint facility where they questioned many of the people in custody. A corridor that Elizabeth was all too familiar with during her days as an analyst. Since the shooting, Elizabeth's security detail grew from four people to six, not that she was complaining. They turned the corner and were greeted by Conrad along with the director of the FBI and CIA.

"Bess," Conrad said as he walked towards her, "glad to see you on your feet again. Henry I assume you're taking good care of her?"

"I try my best," he responded with a smirk as he looked down at Elizabeth. She had applied a small amount of makeup before leaving, but he could read straight through her. Pain, all the walking they just did. "Can we get her a chair?" Henry asked and within seconds one appeared. She graciously took the seat and let out a deep breath finally feeling some relief.

"Bess, I'm sorry if you weren't feeling up to this," Conrad told her. "We could have waited a few days."

"I'm fine, Sir," she responded. "I've been getting bored at home, fresh air will do me some good."

"So be it," Conrad nodded. "Before we take you into the viewing room, we need to release personal information about the man we have in custody. If either of you are uncomfortable going in there, we all understand here. We still haven't established a motive, he hasn't been easy to crack. We were hoping that maybe you could help us with that."

"With all due respect, Sir, I can't go in and interrogate him myself. How will I be able to target him and what his motives?" she asked.

"Because Bess, the shooter is someone that you know, or at least knew," Conrad said reaching into his jacket to pull out the manilla envelope.

Henry felt his palms begin to sweat and immediately saw the distress that took over Elizabeth's face. Conrad handed her the folder and she opened it, exposing the shooter's photo and person information.

"Does the name Jacob Peterson have any significance for you?" he asked. Her breath caught in her throat whenever she saw the picture and all the memories came flooding back into her head. She immediately looked up at Henry whose face was pale, in obvious shock. Crap, the press was going to love this.

 **So…who is Jacob Peterson and what's his significance to Henry and Elizabeth? I'll reveal more in the next chapter. Don't forget, reviews make me happy. Y'all are so awesome! xoxo**


	6. Chapter 6

_February 10, 1986_

 _Elizabeth walked out of her political science class to find Henry waiting in the hallway for her with a coffee in hand. She loved whenever he brought her coffee, especially after test days._

 _"Hey you," he said walking towards her while kissing her on the cheek. "How was the test?"_

 _"My head hurts, but it wasn't too bad. Thanks for helping me study last night," she responded after taking a sip from her coffee._

 _"I bet you aced it," Henry said as he wrapped his arm around her waist and made their way down the hallway._

 _They walked in a comfortable silence, sipping their coffee all while enjoying each others presence. They stopped by the door so Elizabeth could put her jacket on. Henry grabbed the coffee and books out of her hand and waited for her to finish. Elizabeth looked around her before taking her books back from Henry. She had a feeling, something just wasn't right. She glanced down the hall and noticed the boy who sat next to her in her political science class a little ways down the hallway._

 _"Babe, what's wrong?" Henry asked her noticing her checking her surroundings._

 _"Nothing," she said. "Let's get back to your apartment, it's supposed to snow again this afternoon and I don't want to be stuck here."_

 _Henry nodded and they began their walk to the apartment. Although Elizabeth said nothing was wrong, Henry sensed otherwise. She kept looking over her shoulder, tightening her grip on his hand, and inching closer and closer to Henry to the point where they were almost walking on top of each other. After she had looked over her shoulder for the fifth time in less than three minutes Henry stepped in front of her and turned to look at her._

 _"Babe, why do you keep looking over your shoulder?" Henry asked as he peeked around her trying to understand why she was being so cautious. She looked up biting her bottom lip, clearly distressed about something._

 _"The guy from my political science class has been following us since we left class," she said._

 _"Babe, he could just be going to his apartment or another building," Henry said grabbing her shoulder and squeezing it to reassure her._

 _"No Henry," she said firmly. "This isn't the first time that he's done it. I noticed it after the second week of class and didn't think anything of it. But then I noticed that he always waits until I leave class to leave, even on test days whenever he finishes before me." She took a deep breath in and looked down at her feet. "And I saw his key sitting on his desk, it belongs to a dorm, not an apartment." At this point Elizabeth's breathing became rapid, almost sending her into a whirlwind of panic._

 _"Okay, let's calm down," Henry said as he looked around her again to see that the man was still standing in the middle of the sidewalk a little way back. "Let me go talk to him, see what he wants."_

 _"No way," Elizabeth said as she stood firmly, as if she could physically prevent Henry from walking past her petite figure. "Let's just get to your apartment and then we can figure it out what to do next, okay?" Henry frowned at the fact that she didn't want him to confront the man. "Please Henry, I'm scared. Can we just go back to your apartment?" she pleaded. "And I'm cold."_

 _"Fine," Henry mumbled, "let's go." He took Elizabeth's hand and they walked briskly to hopefully reach his apartment sooner rather than later. They seemed to make it back in record timing and when they entered, Henry immediately turned around to lock the door._

 _"Okay, so what should we do?" Elizabeth asked as she sat down at the counter, placing her books next to her._

 _"Well first, do you know his name? I mean I've never seen him before today," Henry asked._

 _"Jacob Peterson," she replied._

 _**_ MS**

Henry and Elizabeth rode back to their house in silence after meeting with Conrad and the directors of the FBI and CIA. They had spent over two hours talking with them, explaining how Jacob Peterson had been Elizabeth's stalker throughout her second semester of her sophomore year in college at UVA. How she and Henry had to go to the dean of the school and eventually get a restraining order against the man and were assured that he was given strict instructions to not bother her, to stay away from her. Never did they think that over 25 years later that he would cause havoc in their life once again.

However whenever the motorcade pulled up alongside their house, the press was still swarming outside on the sidewalk.. The car came to a halt and Elizabeth grabbed onto Henry's arm, preventing him from opening the door.

"What do we tell the kids?" she asked softly with tears pooling in her eyes. "The press is already all over the fact that I went to where the shooter is being held. They know we were there."

"I think the only thing we can do is tell them the truth. Because eventually who he is will get out, and I don't want them to find out by watching the news," Henry responded. Elizabeth nodded and Henry kissed her forehead. "It's all going to be okay. We'll get there."

Henry opened up the car door and flashes immediately bombarded them. Luckily diplomatic security was able to keep the reporters at a safe distance as they exited the car. Elizabeth was leaning on Henry the entire way into the house. Her face remained stoic, not showing an ounce of pain that she was in, but her body language spoke otherwise. She was tired, exhausted actually and she hadn't taken her pain pill yet. They finally made it into the house where she let her facade fall and walked over to the couch and sat down, letting out a deep sigh.

"I'll go get your pill and tell the kids to come downstairs," Henry said after hanging up their jackets. He left his wife in the sitting room and went into the kitchen, taking a moment to himself to try and wrap his brain around what had happened in the past few hours. He wiped his hands across his face not realizing how much exhaustion had just come over his body. If only he could've protected her, it only he would've done something more.

"Dad?" Alison asked, interrupting her fathers thoughts.

"Hey Noodle," he said as he went into the cabinet to grab a glass for water for Elizabeth.

"Did you and mom find out who the shooter was?" she asked bluntly. Henry looked at his daughter with a sympathetic look. "I mean it's all over the news that the motorcade went their today."

"Go grab your brother and sister for me and meet us in the sitting room. We'll explain everything that we learned whenever you're all down there," Henry told her. She did just as she was told and Henry headed back to Elizabeth who was sitting on the couch with her eyes closed. "Here you go babe," he said while gently shaking her shoulder. She opened her eyes slowly, accepting the pill and swallowing it with a swig of water.

"The kids?" she questioned after setting the water on the table in front of her.

"Ali is going upstairs to get the other two. They should be coming down any minute," he said while placing a hand on her knee and giving it a gentle squeeze. She buried her face into her hands and breathed in deeply, afraid of what was about to come out of the conversation. Henry began rubbing slow circles on her back as the children came down the stairs, all three of them with concerned facial expressions.

"Mom, Dad, is everything okay?" Stevie asked.

"Sit down guys," Henry told his children and they did just that. "Your mom and I went to where the gunman is being held…"

"Did you find out who it is?" Jason asked. The silence in the air was deafening as Elizabeth and Henry tried to find the words to say.

"I had a stalker in college," Elizabeth said by breaking the silence. "Jacob Peterson. He was in my political science class sophomore year and he always followed your dad and I back to the apartment that your dad was living in at the time. I noticed him and didn't think anything of it at first, but whenever he did it for the fourth week straight, I felt paranoid. And I was right, because he didn't live in the apartments, but in the dorms…"

"And whenever your mom told me about it, we didn't hesitate and acted upon it immediately," Henry jumped in. "At first we just had campus security following him at a safe distance so that he wouldn't suspect anything. And he eventually began to stop following your mom, so we thought that was the end of it…" Henry trailed off.

"You thought that was the end of it," Alison said. "Did something happen next?" Elizabeth shut her eyes at the question and took in a deep breath, reaching for Henry's hand and gave it a squeeze, looking for the reassurance that everything was going to be okay. She quickly brushed away the tears that rolled down her cheek, trying to gain the strength to relive what had happened for the second time today.

"Mom, what happened? You're scaring me," Stevie said as tears began to roll down her cheek as well.

"Your dad had to stay late after class one afternoon," she began, "and I reassured him that I could walk myself back to my dorm because it had been three weeks since Jacob had followed us. It was a sunny afternoon, so there were plenty of people were outside so if something were to happen, there would be people there. He begged me to stay back and wait for him but I told him I was an independent women and that I was capable of going by myself. And I did make it back to my dorm safely and waited for your dad to come over so he could help me study for my ethics test that I had the next day. And so whenever there was a knock on the door twenty minutes after I got in, I just assumed it was your dad," she said before taking a deep breath. "But instead I opened the door to find Jacob standing there. And I tried to close the door but he was too quick and made his way inside."

At this point Elizabeth was sobbing, as was Alison and Stevie. Jason sat there in awe, watching someone as strong as his mother crumble before him. Henry sat by his wife and pulled her in close, letting her tears fall on his shirt as he rubbed circles on her back and whispered in her ear. It took a minute but she gained her composure and decided to continue on.

"He came inside and shut the door behind him. My roommate had already left for her class so it was just me and him," she said. "And when I told him to get out, he ignored the fact and pinned me up against the wall with a knife resting on my neck. I froze and forgot any sort of defense mechanism I was taught. Luckily your dad wasn't but five minutes behind him and pushed open the door whenever he saw that it wasn't latched tightly."

The girls were sitting on the floor sobbing and Jason quickly wiped his tears away, trying to hide his sign of weakness. Elizabeth slowly stood up and went and sat on the floor between her three children, putting her arms around them trying to comfort them as her own tears fell to the floor. Henry joined them and sat next to Jason wrapping him into a tight squeeze of his own.

"Did he hurt you, Mom?" Alison choked out.

"No Noodle," she confirmed. "Nothing but a few bruises from where he held my arms, but nothing else. And I'm so grateful that your dad came in when he did." She looked up at Henry who had tears running down his cheeks as well.

"We eventually filed a restraining order against him, and never saw him again," Henry chimed in. "And that restraining order still stands today. Whenever your mom got the job as Secretary of State, he was the first one we put on the people to look out for list."

"So if he has a restraining order with mom, then how was he able to shoot her?" Jason asked quietly.

"Because his gun was farther than 100 feet away," Elizabeth choked out. All five McCord's sat in that room and cried. Cried about the past, cried about the thought of their mother being gone from them. But somewhere within all of that sadness, tears of joy were shed too. Tears that were meant to celebrate the fact that this man would never hurt their mother again.

 **So you all now know most of the history about Jacob Peterson. Feel free to leave reviews, they truly make me happy! Thank you for reading, more updates are coming your way. xoxo**


	7. Chapter 7

Four and a half weeks ago Elizabeth wasn't sure she was going to live to see another day. Two and a half weeks ago the family had fount out the identity of their mother's shooter. And today, Elizabeth stood in the mirror, staring at herself as she gently traced the scar that was on her chest. The rise and falls of the bumps that the stitches created, the sensation of pain it caused her. It all came flooding back to her as she stood there, thinking about what could have been.

"Babe are you okay?" Henry asked with a soft knock on the bathroom door, startling Elizabeth and causing her thoughts to cease.

"Yeah, I'm almost ready," she responded. "I'll be downstairs in five minutes." She continued putting her makeup on as she tried to conceal the large circles beneath her eyes that were caused by the endless amount of restless nights that this traumatic event has caused her. Her eyes spoke volume. They were no longer the bright blue eyes everyone knew her for, but they resembled more of a gray color, showing that she was still suffering the consequences from that one single bullet.

She took a step back to look at herself fully. It had been four and a half weeks since her face had an ounce of makeup on it. She looked at her hair and marveled at the job that Alison did since she herself didn't have the range of motion to curl it. She felt almost like herself again, until her eyes found the scar again. She stood there for a while, once again running her fingers up and down it realizing that this was reality and there was no escaping it.

She walked out of the bathroom and went to her bed where her dark gray gown was laying. She took off her robe and slowly stepped into the gown, taking her time putting on the shoulder straps. She reached behind her to try and feel the zipper but was greeted with a sharp pain in her chest causing her to almost fall over. She carefully sat on the bed and caught her breath as the pain radiated throughout her entire chest.

"Do you need some help?" Stevie asked from the doorway. Elizabeth looked over her shoulder and flashed her eldest a small smile. Stevie walked over and slowly zipped up the back of her mother's dress, marveling at her beauty despite all of her pain. "Mom, you look really great."

"Thank you, baby," she said as she slid on her pair of heels. Elizabeth looked at the clock sitting next to her bed and realized she still had another hour and a half until she could take another pain pill. With a large sigh she stood up and went back into the bathroom to straighten her dress out and apply the last layer of lipstick. She took her time walking down the steps as her feet were adjusting to the heels once again.

"Mom you look gorgeous!" Alison squealed as she saw her mother coming down. She ran over and examined the dress, gawking at the sequence that lined the neck.

"Thank you, Noodle," she said as she pulled her in for a squeeze. "I think I'll let you pick out my outfits more often."

"Yeah Mom, you look really nice," Jason said as he leaned over the couch flashing his mom a smile. She walked over and placed a kiss on the top of his head and squeezed his shoulder.

"Babe, are you ready?" Henry asked walking into the kitchen while adjusting his tie. Elizabeth rounded the corner and her husband stopped dead in his tracks. "Babe, you look amazing."

"You clean up pretty well, too Dr. McCord," she said as she pecked him on the lips. She turned around to face her kids who were all watching their parents. "Okay guys, your dad and I are just going out to dinner and then we will be back. It's a school night so please do not stay up too late," she pleaded.

"We won't, Mom," Stevie said. "Now go out and enjoy your night, you guys deserve it." With that Henry took Elizabeth's hand and they walked to the front door. Henry helped her put her arms in her jacket and she did the same for him. They walked out the door hand in hand and for once weren't greeted by camera flashes.

"Good evening Ma'am, Dr. McCord," Fred greeted them and opened the door.

"Thank you, Fred," Elizabeth said as she climbed in the car with Henry following her. They rode in a comfortable silence until about halfway to the restaurant until Fred rolled down the barrier screen.

"Alright Ma'am, we have three more DS agents than usual with us this evening only because it's your first official time out since the accident. If at anytime we need to evacuate we will have double the protection surrounding you," Fred said as he looked back. "We've already gotten word that there are cameras everywhere surrounding the restaurant but we'll try to get you in as quickly as possible."

"Thanks, Fred. It's much appreciated," Henry responded as Fred rolled up the screen. Elizabeth sat in the car staring out the window, her mind going a mile a minute. "Hey babe, I brought these," Henry said as he pulled the bottle of pain pills out of his pocket. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"Henry, why did you bring those?" she asked clearly upset.

"Elizabeth, you've barely missed a single dose and I can still see how much pain your in whether you admit it or not," Henry said as he squeezed her hand. "I brought them just in case, you don't have to take one if you don't want to." Elizabeth nodded and laid her head on her husband's shoulder, grateful that he took such good care of her.

They arrived at the restaurant and were indeed greeted by flashing cameras from all angles. Her security detail got out of the car to secure the area and Elizabeth drew in a shaky breath as she became anxious. Henry squeezed her hand once again and pushed away a strand of hair that hung out of place. The doors to the car opened and Henry stepped out, not letting go of his wife's hand and she too crawled out after. The DS agents had already cleared a path for them to walk through.

"Madam Secretary, how are you feeling? one reporter asked.

"Getting better everyday," she responded with a small smile as they continued to walk in. They made it inside the building and she immediately clutched onto Henry's arm as she began to feel her heart rate increase.

"Babe, breathe for me," Henry whispered into her ear. "The hard parts over, you're safe in here." She tried to control her breathing as he helped her out of her coat. He noticed that her body was still tense and pecked her on the neck which almost immediately slowed her breathing. "You okay now?"

"Mhmm," she whispered as she looked at him and smiled coyly. They were led to their table in the back, but still had a clear visual of one of the TV's hanging over the bar. Their waitress came over and took their orders. To Elizabeth's surprise, Henry refrained from ordering himself a glass of wine.

"Babe, just because I can't mix my meds with alcohol doesn't mean that you can't have wine," Elizabeth said as she looked at her husband.

"I only drink when you drink," he responded. "Besides, it isn't as much fun drinking by yourself."

They chatted quietly about the kids, Henry returning to work next week, and so much more as they ate their dinner. It truly felt like on of their first dates they had nearly thirty years ago. Elizabeth had nearly forgotten about everything that had happened throughout the past month. That was until she spotted the news headline scrolling across the television.

"Elizabeth, what is it?" Henry asked as he saw the little bit of color that his wife's face help almost disappear immediately. He turned around and he too saw the headline that was flashing.

 ** _"SECRETARY OF STATE, ELIZABETH MCCORD'S LONG LOST SHOOTER AND STALKER REVEALED"_**

Almost as if on cue, the security detail came into Elizabeth and Henry's sight.

"Ma'am, we need to get you out of here now before the crowd outside gets any larger," Fred said as he went over to her side of the table basically lifting her up out of her seat and began motioning her towards the door. Henry ran to Elizabeth's side quickly grasping her hand as they briskly walked to the door. Upon stepping outside she peeked through the window noticing that the crowd size had nearly doubled since their arrival.

"Henry," she said in a low whisper as the tears formed in her eyes. He looked over at her, clearly still in shock of what had been leaked.

"Hey it's going to be okay," he said as he wiped away the single tear that fell from her eyes. He kissed her gently on the lips before he helped her slip her coat back on. The DS agents quickly pushed the doors open and surrounded both Henry and Elizabeth as they made the never ending walk back to the car.

"Madam Secretary, is it true that Jacob Peterson stalked you in college?!" one reported yelled.

"Madam Secretary, was this his motive behind the attack?" another one questioned.

"Madam Secretary, how do you respond to these accusations against your shooter?" one screamed at her.

Elizabeth didn't dare to look up, her focus staying on the back of Fred's head as he walked in front of her, plowing over people who stood in the way. Henry never once let go of his wife's hand as he saw the growing worry overcome her face but did not dare to answer any of the questions she was being asked. They finally reached the car and Henry allowed Elizabeth to climb in first, hoping to block the cameras from catching her distraught face. Once the door was shut the motorcade sped off away from the curb and Henry finally let out a breath knowing that they were safe, for now.

"Henry," Elizabeth managed to choke out before the sobs overcame her. Henry scooted closer to his wife and wrapped his arms around her hoping that he would provide some level of comfort to her. They weren't even in the car for two minutes until her cell phone began to ring. She sat up almost immediately wiping the tears from her cheeks and grabbed her phone from her clutch. "Hey Daisy," she said. "How bad is it?"

"Ma'am, I hate to be blunt, but it's pretty bad. The media is eating this up now that they know who your shooter is but also what significance he is to you and your family. I hate to ask this but I need to put out a statement to try and diminish some of the conspiracies," Daisy responded. Elizabeth let out a long sigh and turned to look at Henry who had a puzzled look on his face.

"Fred," Elizabeth said and he turned around.

"Yes Ma'am?" he asked.

"I need to go to the State Department," she told him and he nodded and soon relayed the information to the other cars. "Daisy," she said as she spoke into the phone. "I'll be there in ten minutes." She hung up the phone and rubbed her eyes.

"Babe?" Henry asked.

"Just be here, please," Elizabeth said as she looked to him intently. "Please Henry, just be here."

"I'm not going anywhere," he said firmly. She placed her head on his shoulder and allowed the tears to flow once more, except this time she ran her fingers up and down the scar, feeling the bumps under her dress material. Feeling Henry wrap his free arm around her only caused the sobs to come out louder, as she thought about how she drug him and her family into this mess. But she had ten minutes, ten minutes for them to be just Elizabeth and Henry until she had to face this mess head on.

 *****I apologize for this update taking so long! I started college this past week and was busy all last week trying to prepare for it. Updates may start coming at a slower pace but I promise you that they will come. Thank you all so much for sticking with this and going on this journey with me. Don't forget: reviews brighten my day! xoxo*****


	8. Chapter 8

_March 6, 1986_

 _Elizabeth walked back to her dorm as she soaked in the sunshine from the first warm day in what seemed like forever. She was blissful after just scoring an A on her political science exam and she couldn't wait to tell Henry later that evening when he came over to help her study for her theology test that was coming up in the next few days._

 _She glanced over her shoulder out of force of habit and breathed a sigh of relief to see now Jacob Peterson behind her. Three weeks since the last time that he followed her. And she felt like she could finally breathe again and not have that worry in the back of her mind. She was grateful for all that the university had done for her to protect her safety, but more importantly, she was grateful for Henry standing beside her through it all._

 _As she reached her dorm room she flung her backpack on her bed and let out a sigh as she sat at her desk. The week was almost halfway over but it seemed to be moving at a snails pace. She glanced around her desk while her eyes immediately fell at the picture of her and Henry at the park around fall. The leaves were changing colors and they truly seemed happy._

 _"Crap," she mumbled to herself as she got up and reached for the phone and began to dial the number that she knew so well._

 _"Hello?" he answered._

 _"Hey babe, it's me," she responded._

 _"Okay good, I was starting to get worried," Henry said with a sigh of relief. "Did you make it back okay?"_

 _"Yes, and see I told you there was nothing to worry about. He hasn't been following me for the a few weeks," Elizabeth said._

 _"I know but that still doesn't mean that we're in the clear. You know I'm still worried about this entire situation," he replied in a hesitant tone._

 _"I would be lying if I said that I wasn't, but I'm not scared to walk on campus anymore if that makes you feel better," she said in a sarcastic tone._

 _"Yes, it does, thank you," he answered with a laugh._

 _"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Henry McCord," she replied with a giggle. "I'll see you in a little bit, I love you."_

 _"I'm leaving here in about ten minutes. See you soon, babe," he said before he hung up the phone. Elizabeth went to her bed where she unloaded her books and began to study for that theology test just so she would have some background knowledge before Henry came over. She easily lost track of time until she was interrupted with a knock at the door and a smile immediately spread across her face. She ran over to the door to open it up, assuming that it was Henry, but to her surprise, the only person standing there was Jacob._

 _**_ MS**

"Ma'am, you know I normally wouldn't push you for a statement, but us not responding is making it look like you have something to hide," Daisy said as Elizabeth stared blankly out of her office window. Henry sat there and watched his wife wander into her own little world, wishing that he could make all of this go away. He got up and placed a hand on his wife's shoulder suddenly jarring her from her fantasy.

"What?" she asked as she turned to look at her staff.

"I'd be happy to write something up for you, Ma'am," Matt chimed in. "Just tell me what you want me to say and I'll figure it out."

"I appreciate that Matt, thank you," she said with a slight nod. "I really appreciate all that you guys are doing for me with trying to calm down the press and all, but I just…" she trailed off as a sob began to crawl up her throat. Henry squeezed her shoulder as she let a lone tear role down her cheek. Blake handed her a box of tissues and the rest of the staff stood there observing their boss. She was always stoic, showing emotion here and there, but never once let her staff see her cry.

"Ma'am if you're not ready to give a statement yet, Daisy can fight off the press," Nadine said. "I'll keep things running here as smoothly as possible just like it has been until you're ready to return. You don't need to do something that you're not ready to do."

"Babe, why don't we go home. Face this in the morning, you're tired," Henry whispered in her ear as he wiped away another tear that was slowly rolling down her cheek. She took a tissue and began to blot away the mascara that had begun to run and sniffled. "Can you guys give us a minute?" Henry asked. The staff walked away shutting the door, leaving the two of them in her office. "Talk to me. We'll do what you want to do."

"I want to come clean with what happened in college I really do," she managed to say before sniffling once more, "but I don't think I'm ready to put it out there yet. I know I will eventually, but it wasn't supposed to be this soon. The press wasn't supposed to know yet, not until we had a few days to prepare."

"Okay, then lets go home," Henry said as he extended out his hand waiting for his wife to take it.

"I'm sorry I ruined our first night out," she said while looking at her feet.

"Are you kidding? I got to spend my night with the most powerful woman in the country," Henry exclaimed which made his wife smile. "I like to think I'm the luckiest guy in the world. And now I get to go home with her? That's the icing on top of the cake." Elizabeth looked up at him and stood up smoothing out her clothing and took his hand. She placed her free hand on his chest and leaned in for a soft kiss to show her appreciation for him. They walked out of her office only to be greeted by her staff.

"Daisy, fight off the press as much as you can. Tell them that we had no comment about the situation at the moment, and if they ask why, tell them I'm still recovering from the mental anguish that this caused me and my family. Anything to get them off of my back," she said firmly. "I'll give my statement when the time comes, but in the meantime, I need you guys to have my back with all of this. If not just for me, for my family."

"Of course, Ma'am," they all said in unison.

"Thank you, and try to get some rest. It's going to be a long couple of weeks," she said before she and Henry walked down the long hallway to the elevators not ready to face the next couple of weeks themselves.

**MS**

Henry paced downstairs in the kitchen thinking of ways to get ahold of the person who leaked the information to the press about his wife's shooter. If he could just find out who it was…

" _Secretary of State, Elizabeth McCord has issued no comments about the information released about her shooter, Jacob Peterson, who supposedly stalked her in college. Her press secretary released this statement earlier this evening, 'The Secretary and her family wish to not comment on the matter due to the mental anguish that this attack has caused her and her family. They are all still in a delicate period in the recovery process and will issue a statement when they see it necessary. They ask you all to respect their privacy through this time as they still attempt to find the strength to move past this life threatening attack.'''_ the TV reporter had said. Henry turned around and immediately shut the television off, slamming the remote on the countertop causing a loud echo to fill the lower level.

"Dad?" Alison asked from the stairs. Henry looked up at his daughter whose worry and fear was visible on her face. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah Noodle, just go back to bed, it's past midnight," Henry said while going to put the remote by the television.

"I saw that the press attacked you guys at dinner. It was all over the news," she said coming down the steps as she walked over to her father. "Is Mom alright?"

"She's a little shaken up. Her staff was pressuring her to make a statement about it, but she wasn't ready to yet. So they're working really hard to fight them off. She was pretty wiped when we got home so she's already upstairs sleeping. I think her pain medicine knocked her out," Henry said.

"Why do they have to attack her like that? Attack our family like that? She isn't even back at work yet and it's like they're out to get her," Allison said while looking down at the floor.

"Well Noodle, that's essentially their job. They try to pry information out of people to get the best story. And we all know that it's just something that comes with Mom's job whether we like it or not. We knew that the press would get wind of this eventually, we just didn't think it would be this week," he said as he enveloped his daughter in a hug.

"I'm really scared, Dad," she mumbled into his shirt. "What's going to stop anyone else from shooting her? Or shooting one of us?" Henry stood there, lost for words. How was he supposed to explain that there was essentially nothing that they could do except for rely on the security detail to ensure their safety.

"We do what we can, the best that we can, and just hope that it's enough," he said as he placed a kiss on her head. "It's late, let's go up to bed. Henry switched the lights off and walked upstairs with her daughter and watched her crawl into bed before he headed into his bedroom. He stood in the doorway, watching his wife's chest rise and fall for the millionth time this week. A tear fell from his cheek as he thought about the idea of her getting shot again. He stood there, hoping that him doing the best that he could would keep her and his children safe for the rest of his life.

 *****So I know this update took FOREVER and I apologize! I've been very busy with school and work lately, but I hope that with the holidays approaching that I'll have time to update some more. Don't forget that your comments make my day!*****


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

 _March 6, 1986_

 _"Ja..Ja..Jacob what are you doing here?" Elizabeth asked as she stood in the doorway in absolute shock. She was frozen in time, unsure of what to do next. Scream? Try to slam the door? Slide past him?_

 _"Something I should've done a long time ago," he said in a low husky voice. Elizabeth reached for the door and tried to shut it but it was too late. "Don't even think about it," he said as he stopped the door with his hand and stepped in. Elizabeth walked backwards until she stumbled against her desk._

 _"Please Jacob, what do you want?" Elizabeth asked as a tear fell down her cheek. Jacob began to walk towards her after closing the door._

 _"What do I want?" he reiterated. "What I want is simple. I want you. But whenever you're with that overprotective graduate student boyfriend of yours, it's kind of hard to get to you." He stepped closer to her being only inches away from her face. She looked away from him as his face neared hers._

 _"Please leave me alone," Elizabeth said as she shuddered after feeling his breath on her neck._

 _"You see, Elizabeth, you keep telling me to leave you alone, which only makes you that more resistible," he whispered with his breath hot against her. He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and she swatted his hand away._

 _"Don't touch me," she pleaded._

 _"I guess that restraining order isn't very effective right now is it?" he asked but she didn't respond. "IS IT?!" he yelled louder demanding an answer._

 _"No," she responded with a steady flow of tears sliding down her cheeks. She tried to scream for help but her screams were muffled by Jacob's hand that was placed over her mouth._

 _"Be quiet you little bitch," he hissed at her. With one hand over her mouth, he used the other to wrap his hand around her neck causing her to fall backwards even more. "When I'm finished with you, there's going to be no point in screaming, you worthless piece of trash." And with those last words the door had swung open and Elizabeth stared helplessly at Henry who had finally come to her rescue._

**MS**

Elizabeth sat up quickly in her bed with her heart pounding out of her chest. For the past four nights she had relived that afternoon in college and she couldn't seem to shake it. She looked over at her clock and realized she only had fifteen more minutes of sleep. Fifteen more minutes to lay there and think about the fact that she had to return to work today. She looked over at the bathroom door and saw light peaking out beneath it. She leaned against the headboard and turned on the TV to try to take her train of thought anywhere else than where it was right now.

" _Secretary of State Elizabeth McCord is returning back to the office today only eight weeks after being shot,"_ one news reporter said and she quickly changed the channel.

" _Americans are wishing for a statement from the Secretary of State today as she returns to work, hoping for a little bit of clarity behind her alleged shooter, Jacob Peterson,"_ another one said and she changed the channel once more.

" _All I'm saying is that someone needs to make a statement about her attack. She's returning to work today and all we've gotten is updates on her well being. Nothing about her shooter. The American people have been waiting long enough!"_ another one exclaimed. She hadn't even heard Henry open the bathroom door and walk over to the bed.

"How about we just turn that off," he suggested as he reached over her and grabbed the remote and switched off the television. Elizabeth let out a deep sigh and stared at him, needing for him to say something that would comfort her. He too looked desperate and leaned in and kissed her, helping assure her that it would be alright. "Good morning," he said after he pulled away and gave her one last peck on the nose.

"Today's the day," Elizabeth said sinking down farther into her pillow.

"Babe, you don't have to go back quite yet just because the doctor said eight weeks was the minimum. Everyone will understand if you take a few more days off," he said as he climbed back into bed next to her and wrapped his arm around her.

"Do you really think they'll understand Henry? Because everyone has been asking when I'm coming back and they're expecting me to just be back to normal. What happens when they find out that I'm not the same person I was before I was shot?" she asked as tears began to form in the corner of her eyes. Henry quickly wiped away her tears and pulled her close.

"If there's anyone in this world that I would trust with our nations foreign relationships, no question would it be you. Babe, you're still the strong, independent, fearless woman you were before any of this happened. People that are going to doubt your ability don't know you like I do. You're still the same bad ass Secretary of State, and the same woman I married," Henry said. Elizabeth let a small smile form and she looked up at Henry. "And even if you would be different, I'd still be here to love you. So I think whatever happens, we'll be okay." He leaned down to kiss her forehead and she leaned farther into him.

"Thank you for that," she whispered. "I love you."

"To the moon and back babe," he responded. They stayed in bed for a little while longer until Elizabeth had to get up, shower, and get ready. She took her time, wanting to make sure that she looked just as presentable as she did eight weeks ago. It was still a battle to curl her hair in the morning but luckily she seemed to have gotten the hang of it. She put on her dress and heels and checked her appearance one last time before walking downstairs.

"Morning Mom," all the kids said as she came down.

"Good morning guys," she said as she circled the table and kissed each one of her kids on the head. They all sat there and played with their food, all clearly distracted by the fact that the media attention was going to be all on their mother for the day. Her phone vibrated interrupting the silence in the room and she stood up slowly to go and get it.

"Yeah Blake I'm just a bout ready to leave," she said into the phone and hung up. "Okay guys, I will see you all tonight after work. My schedule is pretty light these first few days so it shouldn't be late." They all exchanged their goodbyes and Henry walked Elizabeth to the front door.

"I put your pain pills in your purse just in case," Henry said as he helped her get into her jacket.

"Henry I haven't taken one of those in the days, I don't need them," she responded in an annoyed tone.

"I know that, but I figured with you being on your feet a lot, one may come in handy. Only if you need it," he said as she spun around after putting her jacket on. He handed her the thermos full of coffee and her purse. "Have a great day. I'm only a phone call away, okay?"

"I know," she said as she sighed. "I'll see you tonight." She leaned in and kissed him passionately wanting to hold onto this moment for just a little longer until she entered the storm of media. They separated and he pecked her on the cheek and she turned around and walked out the door. Once inside the SUV, she let out a deep breath as she mentally prepped for the long day ahead of her.

**MS**

It was only lunchtime and Elizabeth had already felt the exhaustion from the day creep up on her. It was getting harder and harder to mask her yawns and her staff had been tiptoeing around her all day long. Elizabeth sat in her office and pushed her salad around on her plate before pushing it away and leaning back in her chair.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but can we have a minute?" Daisy asked as she knocked softly on her office door.

"Sure, come in and have a seat," she motioned to Daisy and sat upright in her chair. "What can I help you with Daisy?"

"I hate to bother you with this on your first day back, but the media has been pushing for a statement for the past week and a half. I know you and Dr. McCord said that you would let me know when the right time was, but as your press secretary, I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't tell you that the sooner the better," Daisy explained. Elizabeth sat there, knowing well that Daisy was right. It looked like she had something to hide whenever she didn't say anything.

"You're more than right Daisy," she responded. "Have Nadine clear my schedule for the rest of the day and have Blake call Henry and put him through to me. We're going to need the afternoon to write something. Have the press conference set up for this evening.

"Ma'am do you want me to have Matt write some remarks? This doesn't have to fall all on you and your family," Daisy warned.

"I know that, and thank you for offering. But something like this needs to come straight from my husband and myself," Elizabeth said. Daisy nodded and left her office leaving Elizabeth there to sit and wonder how the media was going to have a hay day with this.

**MS**

"Alright guys are you ready?" Henry asked his kids as they sat on the couch in Elizabeth's office. They all nodded and stood up getting ready to head into the press conference.

"Wait guys," Elizabeth said as she entered the office, clearly a little frazzled. "If you don't want to stand their with me I'm not going to make you. I understand if this is too much for you guys. When I took this post I vowed that the media would get nowhere near you guys, and this is crossing that line."

"Mom are you crazy?" Stevie asked.

"We wouldn't be here if we didn't want to be up there with you," Alison said.

"Team McCord, right?" Jason asked with a smirk. Tears began to form in Elizabeth's eyes and she enveloped her kids in a hug, with Henry right behind her.

"I'm so grateful for you kiddos," she said as she held back tears. They all separated and took a moment to collect themselves. Henry took Elizabeth's hand and squeezed it tight for reassurance. They let the kids go first and they followed closely behind and within the first five seconds of being in the conference, the camera flashes were running wild.

"The Secretary of State," Nadine said as she introduced her and looked back at her and smiled. Henry leaned over and kissed her temple before she stepped up to the podium with her husband and kids closely behind her.

"Thank you all for coming here tonight. You've all made it fairly obvious that you've been waiting for this statement while I've been trying to prolong it. But here we are," she said with a small chuckle and the press followed. "So here it is…"

TBC

 *****Thank you all for sticking around for another chapter! Cliff hangers are the worst (I know) but I promise to write again soon now that I'm on my holiday break from college. Your comments make my day and I'm so grateful for every single one of you.*****


	10. Chapter 10

_"Thank you all for coming here tonight. You've all made it fairly obvious that you've been waiting for this statement while I've been trying to prolong it. But here we are. So here it is. During the second semester of my freshman year at UVA I realized that a man was following me. Being the person that I am, I thought nothing of it. That is until it happened repeatedly after my one class. It first began that he would just follow me until we got outside of the building, but it soon became an issue once he followed me nearly all the way to Henry's apartment. I began to worry and told Henry after three weeks of it escalating and we immediately got the campus security involved," Elizabeth said as she turned around to look at Henry. "Of course my own personal body guard over here insisted that I get a restraining order but I opted out of that, having faith that the university was going to do everything in their power to ensure my safety. And they did. In no time, Jacob Peterson backed off once the campus had warned him and I felt like myself again. Although Henry would have to disagree, I felt safe for the first time in weeks. It wasn't until one afternoon whenever I decided to walk back to my dorm room by myself that my safety was questioned." Elizabeth looked back at Henry and the children again, all giving her encouraging smiles for what was going to be the hardest part of her speech. The part where she was most vulnerable._

 _"Henry insisted that he would only be 15 minutes longer, but I assured him I was fine and I would see him after his class. I think it took every bone in his body to tell me 'Fine. Go ahead and I'll meet you at your dorm as soon as I'm finished.' So I walked back by myself although there were plenty of people around. The dorms were already beginning to quiet down as people were leaving for the weekend. I took notice of my surroundings the entire time making sure Mr. Peterson was nowhere to be seen. And he wasn't. So I walked into my dorm room and unloaded my backpack to be surprised with a knock at the door not but ten minutes later." Elizabeth stopped to clear her throat as she was preparing to expose what could be considered one of the worst nights of her life._

 _"I thought it was Henry. Maybe he had gotten out of class earlier than expected. Without thinking I opened the door a..and…Jacob was standing there. I tried to shut the door but he allowed himself to come in with force. Luckily for me he failed to shut the door all the way, which allowed Henry to swoop in and save the day. He backed me up against my desk and yelled at me, spit on me, and held by arms down to the point where I had fingerprint size bruises on my forearms for weeks. I couldn't speak. I froze not sure what to do. It wasn't until Henry came in did he finally let go of me so that I could start processing what had happened. I won't go into details about what happened after Henry came in, but needless to say a restraining order was put into place effectively immediately. Before eight weeks ago we thought he was no longer a threat but it is clear that he still is to this day. I thank you all for your patience, kindness, and graciousness that you all have bestowed upon myself and my family. Thank you all and have a blessed evening."_

**MS**

With that last statement Elizabeth left the room along with her kids in front of her and her husband right beside her. It wasn't until she reached her office that the immense amount of weight that lied within that speech hit her.

"You did great, Mom!" Alison said as she wrapped her mom up in a hug.

"Yeah Mom, we're really proud of you," Stevie said as her and Jason joined in. But instead of reciprocating the hug, Elizabeth just stood there. Frozen in time, just as she did years ago.

"Babe?" Henry asked in a worried tone. The kids looked up at their mother whose face was pale. And within a second her breathing became labored and the kids immediately broke away from their mother. She reached for her chest and gasped for air as she looked around the room aimlessly begging for help.

"Dad, what's wrong with mom?" Alison asked her father as tears welled up in her eyes.

"Babe, I'm right here," Henry said as he rushed over to his wife. "Elizabeth it's okay, I need you to breathe for me. In 1,2,3. Out 1,2,3. C'mon you can do it." He slowly helped his wife sit on the ground and place her head in between her knees. "Stevie," he said looking at his oldest, "go ask Blake where mom's purse is and bring it to me, okay?" Stevie ran out of the room yelling desperately for Blake. What actually took seconds seemed like minutes but she and Blake soon returned with the bag in hand.

"Dr. McCord is the Secretary okay?" he asked in a worried tone. Elizabeth's breathing was still labored but it was beginning to become under control.

"I need you to get the pill bottle out of her purse. It has her anti-anxiety pills in it. Get me one out and I need a glass of water," Henry stated and Blake did exactly as he was told. He handed the pill to Henry and poured her a glass of water. "Elizabeth I need you to take this for me," he said while rubbing his wife's back.

"No," she managed to choke out as she lifted her head from between knees. "Henry I'm fine." She wiped the tears away from her cheek as she took the next few seconds to finally get her breathing back to normal. She looked across the room and saw the three worried expressions from her three children staring back at her.

"Mom, are you okay?" Jason asked as he saw both of his sisters tears streaming down their cheeks.

"Yes," she said quietly while looking at Henry and then at the kids. "Everything is going to be okay." But as they all sat there in silence watching their unbreakable mother wipe away the silent tears that fell from her eyes, their tough father crumble as he helplessly watched their mother, they all knew that nothing was fine, and it hadn't been for quite sometime.

**MS**

Elizabeth woke up her in bed the next morning, truly unsure of how she ended up there after what had happened in the office the night before. The only thing she was able to remember was getting into the motorcade sometime after the anxiety attack and listening to the deafening silence in the car. Her kids to worried to speak and her husband to scared to breathe the wrong breath. She vaguely remembers Henry carrying her into the house and laying her on their bed, helping her change into something more comfortable to sleep in. She looked over at the clock and noticed it was 10:30.

"Crap," she mumbled as she threw the covers off of her. No matter how much sleep she had gotten the night before, the draining effects of the anxiety attack were still taking a toll on her body. She opened the bathroom door to find Henry staring blankly into the mirror, lost in his own little world.

"What are you doing out of bed?" he asked her snapping back into reality.

"I need to go into the office. I told Blake yesterday that I was coming in early so I could leave before dinner. But now it doesn't look like that's going to happen," she answered. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Well number one, it's Saturday and you normally don't go in on Saturday mornings unless its an emergency. And two I called Blake this morning and told him that you wouldn't be in today if anything were to pop up and to have the deputy Secretary handle it," he responded as he splashed water on his face.

"You did what?!" she practically yelled. "Henry you cannot control when I go into the office. That isn't your job."

"No it's not but it is my job to protect you, and after what happened last night, mind you in front of the kids, I think it's safe to say you should stay home," he spat back, irritated and annoyed. Elizabeth looked down at her feet as she realized what Henry had insinuated. Did he think that she meant to have an anxiety attack? "Look Babe, the kids are worried about you and so am I. It wasn't easy what you did last night so I thought a day or two off before you got back into the thick of things would be nice. But if you want to go into the office, you know there's no way that I can stop you." He leaned in and softly pecked her on the lips and headed for the bathroom door.

"Henry," she said stopping him in his tracks and making him turn around, "thank you for calling in for me." He flashed her a smile and went into the bedroom and left her to shower. She let the hot water run off her body staying in there for longer than she anticipated. Her fingers continuously ran over the long scar on her chest, the scar that reminded her of all the pain she had caused for her family. The steam helped clear her head and gave her time to think about everything that had gone on in the last twenty four hours. She didn't dare turn on the television at all, knowing that her face and speech would be plastered on every single news cycle. She stepped out of the shower and dried off putting on a white t-shirt with a long beige cardigan and a pair of leggings. With her hair wrapped up in a towel she went to sit on her bed and read through just a couple of reports she brought home with her.

"Mom, do you have a second?" Alison asked with a soft knock on the door.

"Sure Noodle, come on in," she said as she patted the spot on the bed next to her. She shut the binders and dropped them on the floor. Alison climbed onto the bed and immediately snuggled into her mom's embrace just as she did when she was younger. They sat their in silence for a minute as Elizabeth took her in, resting her head on top of her daughters just as she's done so many times before.

"Mom," Alison managed to say, "are you okay?" Elizabeth sat there not sure how to respond. Was she really okay? Heck she didn't know.

"I'm going to be fine, Noodle. I promise," she stated as she placed a kiss on top of her head. Alison sat up so that she would be face to face with her mother.

"I know you're _going_ to be fine, mom. You always are. You are one of the strongest people that I know. But I'm asking are you okay now? Last night in your office, I was really scared. I didn't know what to do. I felt like I caused your panic attack," she said as she hung her head low. Elizabeth's heart broke as she listened to her daughter.

"Noodle of course you didn't cause my panic attack," she stated as she grabbed her daughters hand and squeezed it tight. "It's just hard right now. I never imagined having to tell the entire world my secret past that I had and I never wanted to. But I had to and it's over. It may take me a little while to get back to the person I was before…you know. But I promise that no matter what, I'm still the same mom that you know. And I'm not going anywhere." She leaned forward and enveloped her now crying daughter in her arms. Tears streamed down her face too and she closed her eyes, hoping that it would stop the tears. Alison's breathing began to slow and Elizabeth finally opened her eyes and to her surprise, Henry was standing in the doorway with the other two children watching as tears fell from their eyes too. Elizabeth nodded her head and the three of them joined her and Alison on the bed. And for the first time in weeks, she had felt safe.

**MS**

"I'm sorry about last night," Elizabeth told Henry as they were lying in bed in the evening. She had been trying to find a way to apologize to him for scaring him and the kids but words didn't seem to be her best friend right now.

"Nothing to be sorry for," he said as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in close. He kissed the crown of her head and breathed in the scent of her hair.

"I didn't mean to scare you or the kids. I just…just…couldn't hold it in anymore I guess," she said as silent tears streamed down her cheeks. "We've been living in this constant state of fear for the past two months and I felt this overwhelming sense of guilt come over me. Because this is all fault."

"Babe, don't think like that. You're safe, the kids are safe, I'm safe, we're all okay. It's going to be alright. We'll get through it," he reassured her only wrapping her tighter in his arms.

"I can't do it anymore, Henry," she mumbled into his arm. "I don't know if I want to be Secretary of State anymore."

 *****I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I've been trying to write every now and again but it always takes me awhile to make something that's worth publishing. Your reviews always make me smile. Thank you so much for sticking around. xoxo*****


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